Maybe, Someday

Maybe someday
I’ll get it right.
where it will all make sense
but now it seems that I’m out of reach
and confusion is swarming
and I’m spinning
and spinning
and spinning,
trying to figure out
which path to take
which direction is calling
and none of it makes sense
so I sit,
slumped
and more confused
and let the confusion set in
because
although not today
maybe, someday
it’ll all make sense

Is there somewhere?

And I know you felt it too.
I’ve never felt that way before,
I was lost for words
in so many ways.

It was electric,
affecting the people around us, too.
You had that sparkle in your eye,
with the slight tone of nerves in your voice
carried with that skip in your laugh
from your heart beating fast.

Yet,
here I am weeks later,
and I feel it just as strong.
I don’t know what it means.
They said, ‘one day, you will know.’
But I still have no words
to describe the way I feel
other than
I know you feel it too.

My heart it aches
and my lungs,
they fall short of breath.
I don’t know what it means.

I feel the flutter deep within
the pit of my stomach
like a kaleidoscope of butterflies
and the tingling sensation
throughout my arms and legs.
I hope you feel that too.

There is something about you,
the way you hold yourself
or the way you go about life,
something has always brought me
back to you.

After all of these years,
many life adventures
and plenty of bad timing,
I find myself searching for you.

I can close my eyes
and picture you as clear as day.
Sometimes it feels as if
I am with you,
but then
I look around
and you’re nowhere to be found.
Do you feel it too?

There are so many things
I want to say
but I don’t know how.

Tomorrow

standing beneath
the midnight skies
and twinkling stars,
the chill
of the spring breeze
sends shivers
through my body.

our lips inching closer
as your hands
rest upon my waist.

your eyes
searching
until they meet mine,
sparkling.

my hands in your hair,
our lips meet
and right now
is all that matters.

we let the moment take us
knowing tomorrow will come
and everything will be the same.

Fate

searching for an escape,
lost in the landscape;
staring at the sapphire sea,
we both wanted to be free.

I had a sudden urge,
a pull,
to take my things
and sit on the rock
washing my thoughts away;
my quiet
place until you appeared.

bruised and battered,
you startled me
in my moment of tranquility,
but how grateful I was.

two people,
seeking answers
because something
was better than nothing.

you needed to talk
and I needed to listen;
the universe had us in her plans,
fate.

I sat
and listened to your stories
and your melodica music;
you are one of a kind.

we laughed,
we watched the sunset
and we shared pieces of our lives.

as we walked away
a weight had been lifted
and my mood shifted.
we walked away
smiling
as if our sadness never existed.

Will you?

when I left,
I looked back
and felt something.
like the decision I had made
left me with more questions
than answers.

I looked back
and saw you
except this time
it’s you leaving,
not me.

this one last time
will you follow me?
will you grab my hand
and follow me to my favourite spot
up on The Rock?

will you sit with me
and listen to my babble
– the way that I overthink out loud
all while the waves crash against us.
we can watch the storm roll in,
and the sunset fade into the distance
– my favourite part of day.

will you listen to the way
I’m explaining myself
and not making any sense at all?
the way I feel
something between us
– alive
yet unfamiliar,
detached,
almost guarded.
not wanting to feel something
that isn’t there,
but feeling
nevertheless.

we both have so much living to do,
but will you visit me
or I you?
not the kind of promise
that never happens,
but the kind of promise
that follows through?

will you show me your favourite places
and I show you mine?
will we have road trips
through countries
we’d only ever dreamed?
or would we not talk again?

will you wait with me until nightfall,
just you and I
still chatting on The Rock?
will you stay
in the silence of the night
and listen
to the crashing of the waves
with me?
will you tell me
how you feel,
or how you don’t?

if I see you this last time
will it be at our end
where you go your way,
as I’ll go mine?
or will you look back for me
and feel what I felt for you?

These feet

These feet of mine
have taken me places
I’d never believe,
lead me to scenery
that I never knew existed.
they’ve taken me to heights
I’d only ever feared,
yet now live for.

my eyes
have seen so much beauty;
so much love
and happiness
and so much sunshine.
they’ve seen waves
upon waves
crash,
they’ve seen sunsets
the colours of fairy floss
and storms
green with envy.

my ears have heard
so many conversations
with accents from all over the world
filled with words of passion
and excitement
about this incredible life
we get to experience.

while my heart
has connected with so many people
I never thought existed
in real life.
I never knew this was for me,
until it became my life.

Days like today
I know this is the life for me.
the one with no real plans
and my dreams as large as the ocean,
vast and never ending
people meeting
and connection making
allowing my feet to take me
to where I need to be
and the rest of my body
to follow,
taking it all in.

Just us three

the three musketeers
we biked
and we hiked.
it wasn’t far –
it didn’t have to be
but it was enough.

when we reached the top
all was okay
those bad days
just a moment long.
but here,
is where we’re meant to be.
being in this moment right now,
is all that matters.
not what yesterday brought
or what tomorrow will bring.
all that matters is now,
this very moment,
sitting at the top of spirit rock
staring at the sunset
thinking about everything
yet not thinking at all.

we were all fighting our own demons,
even if we didn’t say them out loud.
we sat in silence
as the wind swept through us,
whisking away our worries,
we were free to be
just us three.