I forget

I forget what it is like to get attached. When my day revolved around running into you, for the feeling you brought me is electrifyingly, addictive. Because I promised myself I wouldn’t hurt myself like that again. Until I met you.

I forget what it is like to create my own happiness and not rely on anyone else. Until you reminded me that it just as important to do things for myself, as it is us.

I forget what it is like to talk to whoever I wanted, whenever I wanted. Until you showed me that it is okay.

I forget what it was like to be held, to have you hold me like you meant it. I was yours, just as you were mine, no doubt about it. Until you held me.

I forget what it is like to have someone help me. To help me down the steps, down the ledge and climbing onto things because I’ve been alone for so long. Until you helped me.

I forget what it is like to have someone message you, and that feeling I get inside my chest. Even if it was a simple, “How is your day?” Until you messgaged me.

I forget what it is like to have someone grab my face and kiss me like they meant it, like I was the one. Even if it was just a drunken kiss. Until you kissed me.

I forget what it was like to be let down. Where I believed every word, and you didn’t follow through. Because these past two years, I’ve not let anyone in. Until you reminded me that I deserve it too. That I am worthy.

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