Yesterday I felt on top of the world, yet today I feel like I’m falling. I’m sand slipping through fingers and I can’t hold on. Everything I knew, I now question. I should be sleeping except it lost me somewhere along the way. It feels like sleep and I are stuck in a maze, I know it is there but I cannot find it. Instead I lay here with my heart beating at 100 miles per hour and my head pounding over things out of my control – but that’s anxiety.
I feel like I’m a crab retracting into my shell. Submitting to the ocean and ready to give up. Although right now it feels terribly terrifying because I can’t find the good in this bad, I know some day soon I will. I know this will pass and I’ll be back to my usual self but for now I just need to keep afloat, even though it feels as if I’m drowning and this is the hardest part. It’s as if I’m climbing a mountain and I cannot reach the top, but I know it’ll be worth it when I do.