Sometimes

sometimes the thought of leaving
feels like a punch to the chest
and then
piece by piece
you’re taking my heart
where i can feel
every.little.thing.
every vein and artery ripping
until it’s no longer part of me
we are separate
my heart and i
two just co-existing

sometimes i can’t leave fast enough
sometimes the days, minutes and hours
are slipping through my fingers
like i’m standing in quicksand
sinking and sinking
and i don’t bother fighting it any more
because there’s no way out

sometimes a minute feels like 10 years
sometimes it feels
like i’m alone
in the middle of the forest
and lost
or in the middle of the city
scrambling to find my voice
and then i remember
all i have to live for: me
i am worth living for

this feeling is just a moment of my lifetime
no matter how hard it might seem
i will get through it
i’ve been through far worse
i’ve tested my fate
and I’m still here
i’ve made stupid decisions
and survived
so these tough days
i will outlive
i will let you go
(person, place or memory)
and welcome new beginnings
i’ll hold you close to my heart
for you will always be a piece of me

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