brighter days

For so long,
I had this war inside of me
from no two particular things.
How do you beat a war,
but you don’t know where it starts?
How do you find the light
if you can’t find the darkness?

A lot of time was spent with myself,
by myself,
drowning in the madness
just trying to get by.
And one day it didn’t seem so dark anymore.
Little,
by little
things started to change
and here I am,
coming out on the other side
knowing more about myself than ever before.

I’d take days to write,
days to just sit
days to cry,
days to be in the company of others,
days alone,
days researching,
days with alcohol,
days with music,
days in the rain,
days in the sun
– all kinds of days.

You see,
all of the little things matter,
they’ve made a difference,
the biggest difference.
I know what I love,
I know how to clear my mind when it’s foggy,
I know what I don’t like
and when to say no.

So here I am,
kinda grounded,
kinda not,
but content with goals & dreams;
I’ve not been so content in a long while.
Instead of looking down to ‘watch my footing’,
I’m looking up
and life seems a whole lot brighter.

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