some days

some days I’ll want you to hold me
not hold me together
but hold me while I fix the broken pieces of me, myself

some days I’ll want you to listen
not necessarily to my voice
but to the rhythm of my heart.
listen to the way you relax me,
almost instantly
as if I can finally breathe again

some days I’ll cry
not because of you
but triggers of the past.
I half expect you to leave.
instead, you stay
you pull me in closer
and encourage me to ‘let it out,’
to ease my mind.
“it’s over now,” you whisper
I look up at you and smile,
I believe you

some days I’ll think I’m too much
and there you are
reminding me
that I am enough
exactly as I am

some days I’ll want your tender embrace
the smell of you
entangled
in the scent of me.
your hungry fingertips
pressing heavily up my thighs
as you claw your way to my hips.
my body pressing into yours
heavy breaths
naked; natural state,
under the starlight
finding rhythm with the evening sound of the crickets.
my mind finds peace
from all of this madness
in devouring the pieces of you.
the soft groan melting from your lips
makes me hungry for more.
if this isn’t home,
I’m not sure what is

brighter days

For so long,
I had this war inside of me
from no two particular things.
How do you beat a war,
but you don’t know where it starts?
How do you find the light
if you can’t find the darkness?

A lot of time was spent with myself,
by myself,
drowning in the madness
just trying to get by.
And one day it didn’t seem so dark anymore.
Little,
by little
things started to change
and here I am,
coming out on the other side
knowing more about myself than ever before.

I’d take days to write,
days to just sit
days to cry,
days to be in the company of others,
days alone,
days researching,
days with alcohol,
days with music,
days in the rain,
days in the sun
– all kinds of days.

You see,
all of the little things matter,
they’ve made a difference,
the biggest difference.
I know what I love,
I know how to clear my mind when it’s foggy,
I know what I don’t like
and when to say no.

So here I am,
kinda grounded,
kinda not,
but content with goals & dreams;
I’ve not been so content in a long while.
Instead of looking down to ‘watch my footing’,
I’m looking up
and life seems a whole lot brighter.

mediocrity

I’ve started again over, and over, and over
so many times, I’ve lost count. 
By far, the hardest year I’ve endured 
was the last.

I left today, last year 
back to start again 
where nothing went to plan;
I didn’t have my people anymore.
I didn’t lose it “all” 
but it felt like I did.
Those mountains I climbed,
those friendships I’d never had,
– I’d never cried so many happy tears in my life.
I’d never appreciated all the things I had,
until you
the small town at the end of the road,
with the people from all over the world,
searching for themselves, too.

returning,
I’d never felt so out of place
in the place I used to call home. 
here I am,
again, in a new place 
relearning 
because you taught me 
that I deserve more 
than mediocrity

Free to be

And when I fell love with the ocean, 
I fell in love with me. 
The way we were more similar, 
than not. 
Roaring with life one minute, 
and the next, 
as calm as can be. 


When I fell in love with the ocean, 
it wasn’t about you, 
it was all about me. 
All the things I’d been through, 
and the things yet to come. 
This journey out west, 
symbolic
the long and windy road, 
to a small town, 
I’d call home.


When I fell in love with the ocean, 
I was free to just be ✨ 

things to say

i’ve got a lot to say

wait,
won’t you stay a while?

lay here,
while the sun peers through
and the stars slowly fade
as your head lays on my chest
our bodies intertwined

my heart, it’s been hurting
for a long while now
until i met you.
as your fingers brush along my skin
i forgot what this felt like

i’m quiet
i’m safe
i’m happy here,
with you.

i can see myself
in all of these places
with you,
and i’m not sure what it means

if i share the pieces of me,
will you leave too?

fall

for so long
i stayed
in fear of the unknown
until i realised i had nothing to lose

and so i fell
without fear.
i let go
over
and over again
to leave,
to start again
in places that felt right
to people who felt right.

i urge you to do the same
fall,
jump,
fly
into the unknown

you’ve got nothing to lose,
and everything to gain.

out of character

I’m a little messy
and a little broken
I’m a little all over the place
and consumed by wine.

I’m a little out of character
and there you go.
I don’t like this game you’re playing
here I am,
staring at the screen
the only place you’ll talk
we said honesty
but your actions are being far from honest